Note 9 (4 Complete women)

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*Four Coplete Women* 

🌸 Note 9⃣

Khadija bint Khuwaylid (رضي الله عنها) 

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🌻 Once in the month of Ramadan and it is said on the 27th, and only Allah (swt) knows best, Jibreel (as) came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and held on to him and said ‘Read’ and the Prophet (ﷺ) ‘I can’t read’, he held him again and said ‘Read’ and the Prophet (ﷺ) ‘I can’t read’, then he pushed him a third time and said
 (ٱقۡرَأۡ بِٱسۡمِ رَبِّكَ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَ (١) خَلَقَ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ مِنۡ عَلَقٍ (٢) ٱقۡرَأۡ وَرَبُّكَ ٱلۡأَكۡرَمُ (٣) ٱلَّذِى عَلَّمَ بِٱلۡقَلَمِ (٤) عَلَّمَ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ مَا لَمۡ يَعۡلَمۡ (٥))
🔹(Read! In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists), 

(1) 

🔹He has created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood) (2)

🔹Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous, (3)

🔹Who has taught (the writing) by the pen.(4) 

🔹He has taught man that which he knew not. (5))
🐚 Surah Al ‘Alaq 1-5. This was the first revelation, who said it’s by your power that you will read, but by the name of your Rabb, He will make you read.

🌻The Prophet (ﷺ) was in great fear after this incident and ran back to his home. As soon as he saw Khadija (ra) – he said (زملوني دثروني) –‘cover me, wrap me’. *Look at the manners of Khadija* (ra) next – she didn’t say ‘who told you to go there?’, ‘you see what happened, I told you..’, she didn’t blame him. 

🌻 A man in fear doesn’t need blame from his wife; he needs security. *Husband and wife are garments for each other* 
💟 Surah Al Baqarah 187: 
(هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ۬ لَّكُمۡ وَأَنتُمۡ لِبَاسٌ۬ لَّهُنَّۗ) 

_(They are Lîbas [i.e. body cover, or screen, or Sakan, (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with them)], for you and you are the same for them)_

 👉🏻 Meaning they protect you, and you cover each other’s awrat. You need to cover the awrat of your spouse. You need to give comfort to each other. When a man gets so stressed from the outside world, he can panic, so *he needs (سكن) tranquility in the house*. He doesn’t need a ‘policeman’ at the house or an ‘interrogator’ at home asking, ‘where were you at 9❓I messaged you, why didn’t you reply back to my message, why didn’t you return my call’, etc. The husband doesn’t need this he needs to feel secure with you, not scared, SubhanAllah❗

🌻 When the Prophet (ﷺ) said (زملوني دثروني) –

‘cover me, wrap me’ – Khadija (ra) didn’t ask ‘why?’. So when your husband asks you to do something, don’t ask why, or don’t think about it and then if you’re convinced, then you’ll do it. When the husband is stressed, he doesn’t need questions from you. She was complete because when commanded, she didn’t ask why. She didn’t feel independent from him, as if I need to understand what we’re doing. For her, they’re one, subhan Allah. 

🌻 A women’s nature is to talk a lot, and Allah (swt) made us to talk much in order to reform our children, not to interrogate the husband. The woman is already talking so much during the day, so when the husband comes at night, she should listen to him. 

🌻 Khadija (ra) didn’t say anything to the Prophet (ﷺ) until he was able to catch his breath, and then he spoke to her. Look at her *patience*

Any other wife would panic and ask her husband, ‘what’s wrong, you’re making me scared’, or she’ll go and call her mother and say ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with my husband?’. 

🌻 It’s important to control our emotions because when one person is in distress, then the other should be firm, not losing it as well. Khadija (ra) was controlled, firm, and quiet. 

🌻The Prophet (ﷺ) said

 (لقد خشيت على نفسي)

I’m scared for myself. Khadija (ra) didn’t react with any negative feelings, she didn’t say, ‘yeah because you were in the dark, etc’. 

🐚 What did Khadija (ra) say❓She said
 (كَلاَّ أَبْشِرْ، فَوَاللَّهِ لاَ يُخْزِيكَ اللَّهُ أَبَدًا، فَوَاللَّهِ إِنَّكَ لَتَصِلُ الرَّحِمَ، وَتَصْدُقُ الْحَدِيثَ، وَتَحْمِلُ الْكَلَّ، وَتَكْسِبُ الْمَعْدُومَ، وَتَقْرِي الضَّيْفَ، وَتُعِينُ عَلَى نَوَائِبِ الْحَقِّ‏)

_(“Nay! But receive the good tidings! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you, for by Allah, you keep good relations with your Kith and kin, speak the truth, help the poor and the destitute, entertain your guests generously and assist those who are stricken with calamities.”)_

💦 Al Bukhari Book 65, Hadith 4953

🌻She said, ‘don’t worry, but glad tidings, by Allah, He will never disgrace you’. Another lady might say, ‘don’t worry, I’m with you, I can help you’. But Khadija (ra) didn’t talk about herself or connect him to herself, she connected him to Allah (swt) and this is the strength. Her support came in the form of reminding him of Allah (swt), subhan Allah. This is the beginning of the prophethood, and look at her, subhan Allah. Similarly when children are scared, don’t say, ‘I’m right here, you can call me on the mobile’, etc., you need to tell them about Allah (swt) and make them attach to Him – He is *Al Hayy Al Qayoom* – The Ever-Living, The All-Sustainer.

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