*Four Complete Women*
🌸 Note 🔟
Khadija bint Khuwaylid (رضي الله عنها)
🍄 It also shows Khadija (ra) was a Muslim even before the prophethood, she knew who is Allah (swt); she is the wife of Prophet (ﷺ).
🍄 She didn’t underestimate her husband’s fear, she was caring about her feelings. If the husband comes home feeling scared, the wife can mock him and say, ‘you’re a man and you’re scared, what a joke’. But if a man comes to you and he’s scared, then it means he’s really scared. Khadija (ra) took the Prophet’s words seriously; she didn’t take it as a mockery.
🍄 She told him the truth and said Allah (swt) will never disgrace you. So a complete woman will take the word of her husband seriously. She’s not sitting there looking at her phone and then speaking at the same time to her husband saying, ‘yeah ok then what happened?’. Keep in mind Khadija (ra) had children as well; they weren’t just a couple alone. The husband is the priority before the children. Our nature as a mother is to have motherhood feelings, but not ‘marriagehood’ feelings, though it’s important you don’t neglect your husband.
🍄 Khadjia (ra) motivated him, gave him full-attention and accommodated him. You can see how some of the complete women reached this high level not because of their worships, but because of their behavior, especially when the husband is good. What else did she say❓
🍄 She was praising his positive points and said it with truth, she wasn’t exaggerating. She also said it in a time when he was weak. So she’s not going about praising him all the time. *A complete woman will see her husband’s positive points and mention them at the time of need*If a woman is always praising her husband, then her praise at this moment of stress will not have an effect – he will become immune to it. Or if she’s always praising him then it can make him proud.
🍄 If you see something negative in your husband, you need to remember ten positives about him. 🌾In a hadith, the women need to give charity because of their ingratitude to their household, especially their husbands:
(تَصَدَّقْنَ فَإِنَّ أَكْثَرَكُنَّ حَطَبُ جَهَنَّمَ ” . فَقَالَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ سَفِلَةِ النِّسَاءِ سَفْعَاءُ الْخَدَّيْنِ بِمَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَالَ ” تُكْثِرْنَ الشَّكَاةَ وَتَكْفُرْنَ الْعَشِيرَ ” . فَجَعَلْنَ يَنْزِعْنَ قَلاَئِدَهُنَّ وَأَقْرُطَهُنَّ وَخَوَاتِيمَهُنَّ يَقْذِفْنَهُ فِي ثَوْبِ بِلاَلٍ يَتَصَدَّقْنَ بِهِ)
_(‘Give charity, for
most of you are the fuel of Hell.’ A lowly woman with dark cheeks said: ‘Why, O Messenger of Allah?’ He said: ‘You complain a great deal and are ungrateful to your husbands.’ They started taking off their necklaces, earrings and rings, throwing them into Bilal’s garment, giving them in charity.”)_
🌶 Sunan an-Nasa’i 1575
🍄 A complete woman sees the positive in her husband, not the negative. Women can be ungrateful to their husbands, he could be always doing good, and if he slips once, then it’s as if all the good he did is wiped out. In paradise, both you and your husband will be reformed without any faults. Who doesn’t have any faults in their character❓ Remember that opposites complete each other. You might find a wife expressive and romantic in her talk, while the husband is very quiet and doesn’t reciprocate. Or you find the wife loves to go out, while the husband likes to stay at home. His weakness reforms you and your weakness reforms him so taqwa is needed all the time. You are a test for each other, but this test is to reform you. Then you can be both gathered in paradise perfect.
🍄 Look at the positive points she mentioned, and this shows she truly knows him. She didn’t talk about his looks, rather she talked about his good character. When someone is down, you can’t put them down even more.
🍄 She said you connect with your family, you’re always visiting your relatives. You are truthful, you never say lies. You help the disabled, you entertain the guests, and if anyone is in an affliction, you help them out.
🍄 Her eyes are looking at the positive points of her husband. She was complete because she didn’t underestimate him, or make fun of him; she connected him to Allah (swt) and praised him. So *think good about your husband in order to be a complete woman and tell him about his goodness when in need.* Don’t say, ‘I don’t want to tell him’.
(من رأى الخير نمي له و من رأى الشر ذاقه) – when you think good about someone, then you will see this good from them and there will be more. But if you think bad about someone then you’ll taste it, meaning you’ll see it.